Week 2 Preview: The Curious Case of Le'Veon Bell

🧐

— Le'Veon Bell (@LeVeonBell) September 9, 2018

That's the tweet Le'Veon Bell sent when James Conner fumbled last Sunday, officially making him a tier-one dickhead.

Who actually misses Bell? I know deep down the Steelers do. Conner had a solid game, rushing for over 100 yards and for two scores, but who's saying Bell wouldn't have done that and more? He's missed probably by the fantasy players who lost this week after they had taken him in the first round of the draft (so not Pat), but do Steelers fans miss him? Do his teammates? Do you?

When Roethlisberger threw his interception in overtime that basically ended the game in a tie, the Browns were playing Cover 2, which is a defense they probably couldn't have been playing had Bell been on the field.

He's one of the best RBs in the league, so the NFL is better with him than without him, but, to be honest, I hate him, and that has nothing to do with the fact that he plays for the team I hate the most. He's a me-first guy, and most football fans hate that.

We're all Bengals and Browns fans. How would you feel if Bell played for your team and was holding out heading into Week 2, even if you had a capable back to run the ball?

Here is where I'd put a poll, but I don't know how to do that yet.

First, we recap last week's shitshow:

-Alex took down Casey, thanks to great performances from James Conner, Michael Thomas, and Alex Smith.

-Mandy leaned on TB12, Chris Thompson, and AB for a nice win against JW, who didn't have a ton of help outside of Mahomes and Adams.

-Pat beat Jason P in a close one. He didn't have much help, but the huge games from Rogers and Hill pushed him over the top.

-Cory laid the hurt on Ken, getting 60 points out of his running backs alone. Gronk had a big game for Ken, but it wasn't enough.

-Kyle squeaked out a win over Phil with just solid play from his QB, RBs and WRs. Phil didn't have as much help outside of Luck and Crowell.

-Dean beat me.

Last week the NFL got off to a solid start. There were some great games and some break out performances, some heart-breaking injuries, and a couple great games. The Bears-Packers rivalry didn't disappoint, nor did Aaron Rogers. The Mahomes era in Kansas City is off to a hot start. Andrew Luck is officially back, and the Browns got off to their best start to a season since 2004...... with a tie. 

It was fun to see James Conner show Bell he may not be needed (until he fumbled), and it was fun to watch Mack show the Raiders that maybe they should have just paid the man. 

It was just fun to be watching NFL football that matters again.

Game of the Week:

Chiefs at Steelers

The Chiefs seem to be legit and the Steelers, who are almost unanimously picked to win the AFC North, just got the wind knocked out of them by the Browns. Teams that go into Week 3 without a win have a very slim chance of making the playoffs, and the Chiefs could provide the rest of the AFC North with some breathing room. 

Players in that game:

Patrick Mahomes - JW

James Conner - Alex

Harrison Butker - Alex

Tyreek Hill - Pat

Antonio Brown - Mandy

Juju Smith-Schuster - Kyle

Travis Kelce - Kyle

Kareem Hunt - Dean

Chris Boswell - Phil

Recipe of the Week:

Football and beer go together like peas and carrots. Know what else goes together with beer? Cheese. Here's a recipe for game day beer cheese. If that seems like more trouble than it's worth, you can always head to BW3 for some wing of the chicken smothered in a variety of sauces to choose from.

I'm beginning to think I should get wings somewhere else.

Here's this week's preview:

Ham and Scrote Cheese Sandwich vs Barrow is a Njoku

Both teams are off to an 0-1 start, but neither team scored only 60 points in Week 1, meaning they each have the capacity to win a fucking game. JW has the upper hand in this one because of his WRs, Adams and OBJ, also both of Casey's RBs are questionable heading into Week 2.

Line: JW -7.6
Prediction: JW 130-114

Prior to the Snap vs Finkle is Einhorn

Both of these teams are 1-0 and will be looking to start the season off strong with two wins. Alex has Conner, Thomas and Diggs, and even though he's outmatched at TE and WR, his big-name players are capable of putting up a ton of points. He has the advantage over Pat.

Line: Alex -11.5
Prediction: Alex 122-119

Dental Damnation vs Dolla Dolla Bills Bout da Benjamins

Mandy's looking to go 2-0 while Jason P is trying to get back to .500. Kind of the same deal here. Mandy is better at WR and TE, but Jason P has the upper hand at RB and WR1. This will be a close game and could go either way, but if I were a degenerate gambler, and I am, I'd put my money on Jason.

Line: Jason P -4.8
Prediction: Jason P 113-111

All Barkley no Bite vs Extra Regular Style

Cory's team is going to be tough to beat this year with both Zeke and Kamara at RB as well as a good set of Sterling Shepards at WR. Kyle's team is no slouch, though, as both teams are 1-0. The spread on this game is huge, but I think it will be much closer than ESPN thinks and Kyle may even pull off the upset.

Line: Cory -16.6
Prediction: Kyle 134-130

Rocks Rocks vs Deanie Baby

Dean basically peed on my first born child to show his dominance over me in Week 1 and scored a ton of points, which he's capable of doing again, but Ken has a well rounded team highlighted by Hopkins. I don't know if it will be enough, though, to stop Dean from going 2-0.

Line: Ken -10.5
Prediction: Dean 114-109

Coop a Loop vs Nothin but a Jimmy G Thang

I'm looking to bounce back from shitting my pants in Week 1, and Phil is trying to avoid going 0-2 to start the season. Phil has more talent at WR, but Cooper hasn't been able to get going yet for the Raiders and Marvin Jones is Marvin Jones. I've got the advantage at RB, though, but I don't think it will be enough.

Line: Jason G -2.4
Prediction: Phil 122-105

Week 2 Haiku:

Sixty Fucking Points
My Daughter Could Do Better
She Is Only Three